Potty training. If you have a toddler, this is on your mind whether you want it to be or not. And, probably, you are stressed over it. You think about all the stories people have been telling you for years either about how their child was trained at three months or how it’s fine to have your 5 year old in diapers. Whatever the thoughts that run through your mind, in general, it’s overwhelming and so easy to feel confused and discouraged even before you even start the process.

Chances are if you feel all this pressure, confusion, and angst, then your child is probably picking up on all the vibes and generally not feeling that positive about the whole process either. Let’s take a step back and look objectively at the whole issue for a moment. Did you stress as much over your child learning to use a spoon? Did you lay awake at night and wonder if he would get it THAT day or worry what your friends would think if he still used his fingers at lunch? Probably not. You gave your child the time, practice, grace, and opportunity to learn at his own pace. You knew that he would eventually learn and you expected that it would happen soon enough. And, why did you do that? It’s because you knew that learning how to use a spoon is just a skill and with time and practice, he would get it when he was ready.

There’s no reason we can’t approach potty training with the same healthy attitude. Our kids deserve it. If we enter into the process matter-of-factly and patiently work with them to acquire this new skill, then everyone wins. There’s no need to compare with other children and their progress and definitely no reason to pressure your child to do anything before he is ready.

Here are some basic tips to help keep things in perspective. Remember, it’s just a developmental milestone, a skill that your child needs to learn. It is not a reflection of you in any way.

1. Spend time talking naturally about bathroom habits. Let them observe you and notice how normal and natural it is.

2. Avoid treats or prizes as much as possible. It’s the success that is the reward.

3. Avoid punishment or criticism.

4. Provide extra fiber and liquid to allow for ample practice.

5. Stay close to home for several days until you both feel comfortable.

6. Once you start, don’t go back to diapers. (naps and nights are okay for awhile longer after daytime dryness).

7. Look for readiness signs: can be dry for a couple hours at a time, notices dryness and wetness, has desire to be dry, can pull pants up and down.

8. When there are successes, encourage your child to own the success. You can and should be proud of his progress but try to keep the focus on his accomplishment, not yours.

9. In the same way, when there are failures (and there naturally will be), don’t be dramatic about it. Just clean up the mess together and try again. It’s just part of the process.

Handy Household Uses

1. Grease splatter reducer. Carefully place a colander upside down over frying foods. The heat can get out, but the grease is largely contained.

2. Warm a serving bowl. I love this one: Set your colander inside a pasta serving bowl, then drain boiling pasta as usual. Instead of running down the drain, the hot water will get the bowl warm and ready for your spaghetti and meatballs.

3. Berry storage. Fruit keeps better when air can circulate all around, and that's especially true for delicate berries. So keep your berries in a colander instead of a plastic container.

4. Bathtub toy scoop. Round up those rubber duckies in no time with a colander. A quick shake drains drips easily, and you can store toys in the colander, too.

5. Play accessory. Kids love to watch anything drain through a colander. I mean anything. Sifting water, small beads, bird seed, sand, or good old-fashioned dirt through a colander works well for keeping kids entertained.

6. Craft template. Whenever you need to draw a circle for a kiddie craft – or any reason, for that matter – the colander is always an easy way to go. Example: make an almost instant face mask. Cut your circle, then punch holes in each side and attach string. Cut holes for eyes and let your child decorate as they wish.

Outdoors Ideas
7. Bug tent. Colanders can't keep tiny bugs off picnic and barbecue spreads, but they will help discourage large flies. So if your platter has no lid and you're in a pinch, grab a colander and pop it upside down over your food.

8. Wind chime. Cleaning out grandma's attic? Don't throw out all those vintage kitchen utensils. As Family Fun magazine demonstrates, kids can make a very cute wind chime with them with only a bit of help from you.

Crafty Interior Projects
9. Lamp shade. An upside down colander makes an eye-catching lamp shade – just be careful not to burn your fingers on the hot metal! An Instructables post shows you how to make a colander into a hanging lamp shade, while Craftzine demonstrates a table lamp version.

10. Holiday display. Heaps of scented pine cones not doing it for you anymore? Want something a little more unexpected for your holiday party centerpiece? AC's craftsters suggest piling a colander full of holiday lights. Presto! An easy, yet whimsical table display.

PRACTICAL GIFTS SHE WILL LOVE
Sarah W. Caron

Need practical gift ideas for a new mom? After a woman has a baby, the newest member of her family receives cute little outfits and stuffed animals and more presents galore. But what about the mom that did all the work? What about the woman who's recovering from a major event for her body? Forget flowers ... these practical gifts will really make the new mom smile.

My mother once told me that when a woman has a baby everyone forgets about her and focuses on the baby, therefore the nicest thing a person can do is give her something that is specifically for her. After all, it's the mom who carries the baby for nine months and then goes through childbirth.

These practical ideas will touch the new mom in wondrous ways. Whether it's a gift of time, thought, help or something else, giving the new mom something is a fantastic way to honor her role in the baby growing process.

So, what's a good gift idea?

SOME HANDS-ON HELP
After having a baby, there is so much on a mom's plate: a child to care for, recovery, managing the normal day-to-day life, making sure everyone is fed, clothed and happy. So, having someone to help with the day to day things can be a huge help.

"The very best gift I was given was after the birth of my fourth child. My cousin visited me in the hospital and offered me an afternoon of taking all three of the other kids to the park on the weekend after I came home from the hospital. Those few quiet hours were so fabulous. And she also took her camera with her and took great pictures of the kids on the playground," says Ellen Hofstetter Jaffe of Hilltop Early Childhood Services (earlychildhoodinfo.com).

Whether it's babysitting other children or lending a hand around the house (or even spending a night or two to take the lead with the night shift), an offer of help is huge for new moms.

FOOOOOOOD!
Similar to an offer of help, bringing a ready-to-go meal for the family is a fantastic present for new moms. Whether it's one meal or a week's worth of meals, having the stress of "what are we going to eat?" taken away is a huge help and a bigger gift than just the cost of the ingredients.

"My friends all got together and signed up for a day to bring a meal to my family so that we didn't have to cook or think about meals for an entire month. They brought enough to have leftovers and we were set. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to not have to worry about dinners that first month. All we had to do was buy some basic staples and the rest was taken care of. Some friends even brought enough to freeze for a meal at a later time so really the meals lasted even longer," said Suzy Martyn, author of Enjoy the Ride: Tools, Tips, and Inspiration for the Most Common Parenting Challenges.

A group effort like that can be coordinated between friends or even with a group or office, or you could just bring a single meal. However it's done, it's a great help for the new mom and her family.

A PLANT
Celebrating the birth of a child with the birth of a plant is a wonderful way to recognize the significance of birth. For Mary Talalay, the plant came by way of a gift certificate to purchase a tree. "This was so special and given to me from a friend. Every time we see the tree, we think of her and our daughter really takes care of her tree - waters it, talks to it, etc. It's really a wonderful gift and great for the environment," says Mary.

You can also lend a hand for the new family by planting the tree for them - but be sure to check with them first as to where they want it.

SOMETHING SHE DOESN'T THINK SHE NEEDS
For moms on their second go-around at motherhood, there are certain things they already know, like what diapers work the best for them and whether it's truly necessary to pre-wash every single thing that might someday touch baby's skin. But lots can change between baby one and two. Is there something she doesn't know she needs that you used?

For mom of two Katie Molinari, that something was a coverup for breastfeeding in public. "The best gift I received after birth of my second son was a Bebe a Lait nursing cover – aka 'hooter hider' – because the second time around, a girlfriend told me you end up doing so much more nursing in public. (It) has been very convenient and comes in an array of different styles and colors," says Katie, a PR rep for Method.